How To Find Your Inner Light Again

Beautiful People, Beautiful people. This current season is confirmation of all my prayers and hard work. These past 2 years have been a whirlwind, full of rollercoaster of emotions, facing challenges head on and redefining who I am from the inside out.

Its been a wild journey but, I appreciate it all. No regrets. 

Why?

Because I am here. I am still standing. I made it out of the darkness, out of the fog.

For a while, I lost myself. I lost parts of me that I loved and wished existed in this new life of mine but, those were the same parts of me that I had to learn how to mourn because with growth comes acceptance and I’ll never be that same “old me” again. And thats fine.

But, I had to rediscover who I am was and redefine this “new me.”

Heres how I did it. DOING it. I’m not done.

Taking Inventory of yourself and your environment. 

Yup, I had to dig deep and really look at myself and the world around me. Who am I? Who am I surrounding myself with? What are the words that I use to describe myself? Am I stepping into a space that I want to be a part of or am I accepting the space I am in?

For me, taking inventory allowed me to be honest with myself so, that I can start making the necessary adjustments.

Getting honest with myself and the things I want out of life. 

Yup, I had to get real. I had to ask myself those important questions and provide myself with honest answers. What do I want out of life? Do I want a family? Do I want to live abroad? Do I want these my current friends as my friends? Where do I want to be career-wise in 5 years? 10 years? How do I see myself making my goals happen? How can I make my big dreams come true? What EXACTLY are those big dreams?

I had to sit down with myself and answer all of these questions so I could have a very clear understanding on what I want out of life. I needed that clarity so, I can map out how to get it. This was better than Ciara’s prayer! It wasn’t easy to answer honestly. Shoot, I wanted to believe I was superwoman with an icy S on my chest and everyone else was the problem BUT, the truth is, I am not perfect. Nor will I ever be. I had to make adjustments to self too!

Allowing God to remove whats not for me. Embrace what is. 

Once I realized what I really wanted out of life, made adjustments to openly receive, I had to take a step back and let God do His thing. All of the things I have been selfishly holding on to, I had to let go. All that I knew wasn’t for me, I had to allow God to remove it. Ever seen that meme with a child holding a small teddy bear and God is holding on to a big one behind His back? God was telling the child to give Him that small teddy bear yet, the child replied “But, I love it.” God is ready to answer ALL of our prayers but, we have to let Him. We have to find the way to stop blocking our own blessings by holding on to things that aren’t for us anymore, and/or never were. It’s SO hard but it’s SO, SO worth it.

Pick my head up, plant my feet and start moving. Go after it. 

Then the real work began. I had to get out of my own head and get in my bag, baby! Well really, I just had to find the strength and courage to believe in myself again. Believe that no man can take what God intended for me. And do everything in my power to go after all of those things. Yup, my therapist had to remind me it’s okay to be selfish. In fact, sometimes, it’s even necessary. You can not pour from an empty cup and mine was on E. Now, I am filling it back up to the brim just so I can go after everything with my name on it!

Be unapologetic, fearless and whatever you do, DO NOT STOP. 

Once your head is in the game, it’s only up from there. Be unapologetic about your journey. It’s yours. Some people may not understand but, its not for them to understand or believe in. As long as you feel good about your direction, as long as you are aligned, remind yourself this one is for YOU, and only YOU. Whatever you do, once you start, DO NOT STOP. Be consistent on this journey. If not any other journey, the one to find yourself again. You are important and the world needs the special gifts only YOU possess. So, BE YOU!

Allow yourself grace in the moments and then, keep going. 

We have slip ups. We make mistakes. Not everyday is going to be filled with the light and strength you need to get up. But, do it anyway and when you can’t, give yourself the grace to feel and do what you have to in order to get through. But, once you make it out on the other side again, pick right back up where you left off and KEEP GOING. This one is personal. Its not about you. It’s FOR YOU!

And make a promise to that inner you to NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON YOU AGAIN!

I know I am.

until next time, 

– details – 

sweater: Zara, similar here or here

pants: vintage, similar here or here

coat: vintage

boots: Steve Madden, similar here and here

bag: vintage

xo, 

STACi P. 

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