Hey Fly Friends! It’s finally September and if you know me, you know this is MY season. I love everything about this month. For one, it’s my birthday — the 18th to be exact, so feel free to send gifts. I wear a size 7 shoe, lol. September also means Fall, which is my favorite season and every year there is one week where everyone dresses in their Wednesday best and hits the streets, better known to most as New York Fashion Week. During my styling days, I lived for NYFW — the shows, Bryant Park, the street style on the blogs and of course, all the parties & events! These days I’ve taken a backseat to it all but, still live for socializing in the streets — it’s always live! One thing about NY that will never change.
This year when the invites started to roll in, I got excited and mentally prepared to hit them up! Or so, I thought. When a recent event approached, I was not prepared at all. I was actually in that Mercury-in-Retrograde funk so, everything was a lot harder to cope with than usual. But, being the fighter I am, my attempts to push through started with my outfit! First things first, right?
The tomboy in me was set on wearing sneakers and wide legs and immediately thought of my red Express wide pants from all of those Sweet 16’s I went to back in the day. I remember my mother telling me I couldn’t go to any more because she wasn’t buying another new dress for me to wear one time. Social butterfly .. not go? Yea, right! The compromise was these red pants, just the right amount of “stand out.” After trying them on to make sure they still fit, I thought to myself … “Staci, ALL RED!” I remembered seeing a pair of suede Puma’s in Marshall’s the other day for $29.99 so, I picked those up and the look started to come together.
After the first couple of stores, I found an option. I was in the fitting room mirror taking my selfies, texting them to friends to get opinions, ya know, starting to really feel myself and the look.
TIP: If you are looking to wear a monochromatic look, bring the pieces with you while shopping to match colors. If they are hard to match, focus on different textures! That usually works, giving the monochromatic vibe with “different” shades, which are really just different textures showing up.
Before I even got to the register to pay, my anxiety started to kick in making me doubt what I just fell in love with and instead of paying, I put it on hold for 2 hours to continue to shop. After 3 more stores, I left the mall with 1 top as an option, 1 dress as a top as an option and a completely different dress, as my last resort; none of which I loved. But, I was running behind schedule, hungry since I hadn’t eaten breakfast yet and was o-v-e-r shopping! By this time, I had already started to subconsciously battle with the idea of not going but, I was really trying to push through.
I left the mall to go home and get ready when my second wind of energy and good vibes showed up. Lord knows I really needed that. I stopped by the drugstore to pick up some final touches to my lost makeup bag from Curlfest. Did my makeup, everything looked great; rocking my first red lippie of the season. Since I prepped my hair the night before, I couldn’t have asked for better results for my fro! I was all dressed and ready to go!
Just as I started to walk out of the house, the top of my shirt popped and all of a sudden a flood of memories from the last time I wore this top started to flood in. This vintage Celine top, which is hands down one of my favorite thrifted items ever, ALWAYS gives me this problem. I completely forgot this was even an issue so, didn’t plan for it. Normally, I’d wear a top underneath, so God forbid, it ever pops while I’m popping it and dropping it – I’d be safe from any public embarrassment & had my anxiety not been on 10 thousand, I would’ve been able to tie a black hair tie around the knot, securing it in place (as pictured) as a quick alternative. But, that’s the thing about anxiety — it has your brain on lock for the time being, holding your rationality and good thoughts hostage, like there’s some ransom involved. It’s exhausting!
Which is why I broke. I’m learning resisting anxiety is what brings it on more and when the pressure starts to cook; you’re like a lobster in a boiling pot about to burst. I dropped down, prayed, forgave myself for not attending and cried out of relief. Although, I was upset, it’s important to find the positive, making half and half out of these lemons. There’s a quote by Colette Werden that states “It’s ok if you fall down and lose your spark. Just make sure that when you get back up, you rise as the whole damn fire.” So, I woke up the next day as the fire.
And set this whole parking lot a blaze!
Here’s the thing, intentionally making the best out of situations has been a conscious part of my journey and growth. If I had to sit in the disappointment and regret anxiety left me with from not being able to attend that event, I would have been holding on to that feeling for a long tine; possibly until I was given another chance to attend, which is an entire year from now. That’s a whole lot of burden to hold on to. Could you imagine? Instead, I rose up. With the whole damn fire. The very next day. AND made myself very proud for choosing to make myself feel better from within. All I needed was a redo, whether it was the event or a photoshoot, just something to prove to myself that I’m capable despite of any setbacks I may have. I am human and I choose to be human.
Whether you’re skipping from fashion show to event or staying home and streaming it all from the comfort of your couch — always make sure YOU are taken care of. There’s nothing wrong with pushing yourself; I actually encourage it. But, if you do ever break (ever, as if it won’t happen. It will. Why? because you’re human & that’s dope) dust yourself off and try again. Take a little advice from me; don’t be so hard on yourself. You probably deserve much more credit than you’re given. Heck, I know I do! So, toot toot for the both of us!
until next time,
— details —
top: vintage Celine (thrifted), similar here
pants: Express, similar here
sneakers: Puma Suede Jr Barbados Cherry-Gold, shop here
bag : JAS MB, similar here